Bryson-ism
Bonanza
A
bit of an obsessively detailed and long list, but the Bear is so hilarious, and
I did a better job at capturing in the moment rather than relying on my sad,
waning memory of mine.
Here
goes:
1) Daddy
sure has a good head start on making the Bear into his healthy image. The Bear has
internalized that anything from a bakery or any cookies or ice cream or pizza (read:
all of Mommy’s snacks) is not great for his health.
Mr. Bear
pointing to Mommy’s oatmeal raisin cookie and turning to Daddy: Dada, does that
make your tummy hurt?
Alex:
Yes, cookies makes your tummy hurt.
Mr. Bear (looking knowingly at
me…) and then after some thinking (where he taps his finger on his chin) he asks
me: When I get older, can I eat a cookie?
2)
On
the way to school, the Bear suddenly stopped and very seriously said: Wait. Did
Daddy take his cars?
Me:
What?
The
Bear: His cars! (freaking out…) Did he take them?
Me:
Cars? I dunno. I don’t think so.
The
Bear: I feel sad. Dada didn’t take his cars.
Me:
(Oh no! Got to do something before a full Bear meltdown.) … Uh, how about this?
We can make a plan! That way, Daddy won’t forget his cars anymore.
The
Bear: Yes, that is a good idea (he doesn’t really conjugate – so it’s always “that
is” and not “that’s”). What is your idea? (yes, he truly talks like this. What
3 year old doesn’t?)
Me:
Maybe we can line them up by the door? (me very hopefully…)
The
Bear: (more tapping his chin…) Yes, I like that idea. Yes, we can do that.
(I
made sure to tell Daddy not to forget his cars on his way to work going
forward.)
3) Mr.
Bear assigns jobs.
After
going potty, Bryson told me: Ok, Mommy, it’s your job to flush the
toilet.
Me:
Are you sure? (I never do anything quickly, lest the Bear changes his mind.)
The
Bear: Yes, Mommy’s job is to flush the toilet. My job is to close the door.
Me:
Ok, what’s Daddy’s job?
The
Bear: Daddy’s job is to cook! Silly!
Me:
Yes, that is right, Mr. B!
4)
Daddy told me later that he and the Bear were planning to make soup.
Daddy:
We should we put in our soup?
The
Bear: Snakes and snails and worms and germs!
Daddy:
Wow – that is some kind of soup!
5)
On the way to school, Mr. Bear likes to make sure that I have everything
packed. Oh man – and do I get it if I accidentally forget something.
The Bear:
Did you pack my bubbles?
Me:
Bubbles? Was I supposed to pack bubbles? (I try to play dumb. I do recall that
he did ask me about them at the park and I did promise to bring them the next
day.)
The
Bear: Yes! Bubbles! You said you would pack them. (That Bear sure does have a
memory!)
Me:
Ok, I will bring them tomorrow. Promise!
The
Bear: Ok. (He lets me off easy. Whew!) Can you bring my bubbles tomorrow so I
can play with them at the park? (He is now double checking to make sure
I have this implanted in my brain).
Me:
(Trying to outsmart him.) How about you remind me to pack them when we get home
after school?
The
Bear: Yes, can you tell me when we get home to remind you? (Drat – the Bear
wins again!)
6) I
overheard the Bear telling Daddy as we got in our rental car…
The
Bear: Daddy, do you remember when Mommy and I went to the Filipino restaurant
and she forgot my stick and wouldn’t go back?
How
does that Bear remember? That was like 3 months ago!
7)
The Bear loves to count. One morning on the walk to school, he started counting
in Mandarin. Then he switched to Spanish. Then he looked at me and asked, “Do
you know French?”
8) Mr. Bear and I make potty trips together. One day, he asked me, “Do you where underwear?”
Me:
Yes, I do!
The
Bear: What about Daddy? Diapers?
Me:
Yes!
9) In the bath, Bryson and
Daddy play pretend and make smoothies.
Daddy:
What are the options?
The
Bear: Strawberry or blueberry or banana.
Daddy:
Oh, I would like some strawberry please.
The Bear:
Nice manners, Dada. Good job saying please.
10)
This July 4th weekend, we headed to our new house in New Paltz.
The Bear: Where are all the
people? Where are all the trucks? Where did everybody go?
Later,
we took the Bear on a hike and he was astounded by being in nature, stopping
every minute or so to point out something.
The Bear:
Mama, dada! Look! Look!
Alex
and I head over to where the Bear is crouched down, his face full of wonder: It’s
an ant! It’s black!
We are also trying to teach him what the country vs city
is like.
The Bear: Yes, New Paltz is the country. But what about the
United States. Is that a country?
Alex: Yes, that is the country we live in.
The Bear: We also live in New Paltz. So is New Paltz a
country?
Alex: No, that is a city.
The Bear: So is the United States a city?
I was taking no part in that one!
11) I am trying to teach the Bear how to spell. He has
become really good a rhyming. Now we are sounding out words and spelling.
The Bear: How do you smell car?
Me: You mean “spell”?
The Bear: Yes, smell!
Me: Spell?
The Bear: Yes, how do you spell kiwi?
I was taken back to 4th grade when I didn’t
even know what a kiwi was, let alone spell it. Wow Mr. B.
12) We are teaching the Bear about our childhoods and how
we grew up with siblings.
The Bear asks Daddy: You mean you were little like me
once?
Alex: Yes, I was little like you.
The Bear: When you were little - who were you with?
Alex: Daddy grew up with Aunt Corey.
The Bear: Was Aunt Corey little too?
Alex: Yes, Daddy and Aunt Corey were both little once.
The Bear: Ohhhh.
The Bear: What about you Mommy? When you were little –
who were you with?
Me: Mommy grew up with Uncle Rob.
The Bear: Ohhhh.
The Bear: And what about Nana? When she was little – who did
she grow up with?
Alex: Uncle Charlie and Aunt Missy and Uncle Earl.
The Bear: Ohhhh.
Alex turns to me and says: Woah -we are blowing his mind
right now.
13) When Mr. Bear is at MKC daycare, they have taught him
that all adults have a Ms. or Mr. in front of them. So it is Ms. Kimberly and
Ms. Sabrina.
So I suppose it isn’t too surprising that he sometimes
calls me, Ms. Mommy.
14) Mr. Bear and Daddy were talking about how much the
car costs.
The Bear: Twenty thousand dot com!
15) Mr. Bear and I were walking to his modeling
appointment, and he pointed to the construction.
The Bear: What are they doing?
Me: They are making a building.
The Bear: What are they making it with?
Me: It looks like wood. Where do you think they get the
wood?
The Bear: Money! (the Bear sure has internalized that
money makes the world go ‘round).
Me: Right… money. But also trees, right?
16) From Talia, the babysitter… We told her that Bear
usually goes to bed at 9:30, but that day, he didn’t actually take a nap.
She texts me at 8:30pm: Hey Analiza, it's Talia. Just
letting you know that he's already in bed. I was going to wait till 9:30 but he
asked to go now haha. I guess he really is tired.
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