Funny Mr. Bear

1) Morning breakfast the Bear surprises me with a new request.

Me: What do you want for breakfast?

Bear: Peas!

Me (confused): Peas?

Bear: Yes, peas! (Then proceeds to go to the freezer and hand the bag of frozen peas to me.) Me (still confused): Peas?

Bear (in a patient voice): Yes, Mama, peas. (Then points to the microwave.) You can use the microwave since you don't know how to cook.

Me: Oh right. Thanks Mr. Bear.

2) Mr. Bear and I are at the dining table with markers and a coloring book.

Mr. Bear: These two colors are yours.

Me: I can't have three colors?

Mr. Bear: Listen to my words. These are your two.

Me (picking up another market): I like this color.

Mr. Bear: Put on your listening ears. These are your two.

Me: Um, ok. (I begin unscrewing my marker cap.) Mr. Bear: No Mama, it's my turn first. Please put your cap back on. Please use your listening ears and listen to my directions.

Me: Uh, ok.

3) Mr. Bear, Alex, and I are at my work's holiday party. It is a work event with about 500 teachers and staff with alcohol and a DJ. Pretty clearly adults only. But it is held at the Children's Museum. So with that in mind I decide that we are going to bring the Bear. It is a fancy party and people are wearing ties and cocktail dresses. I decide to wear a strapless simple dress (very conservative and doesn't show anything - not that I have much to show anyway, ha!)

Mr. Bear and I are in the potty at the party and I am helping him with his clothes.

Mr. Bear: Why are you wearing that?

Me: What? This dress?

Mr. B: Yes, that dress.

Me: Why? Do you not like it?

Mr. Bear: No, it is not good.

Me (confused): What? Why not?

Mr. Bear (shaking his head): You show too much.

Me: What?! (talk about getting the third degree from a three year old!)

4) The tradition is that Alex is supposed to take two cars to work everyday. On this particular day, Alex forgot to take his two cars to work.

Mr. Bear (greeting Alex at the door when he came home): Dada, did you put the cars back in the basket?

Alex: Oh, I forgot to take cars today.

Mr. B: (Got very serious and very sad. He looked down at the ground sadly.)

Alex: Yes, I was very sad Bubba.

Mr. B: Dada, forget that you didn't remember (trying to make Alex feel better for his forgetfulness.)