While Auntie Net has left us physically, I believe she is still with us in spirit. Auntie Net was one of my biggest cheerleaders, and I am so grateful to have had her in my life. Here is the speech I shared about her at her funeral.
Aurora "Nenette" Directo Gomez. 78 years young. Mother, partner, daughter, sister, friend, and aunt. To me, she was my Auntie Net. I had planned to see her this summer and bring my two kids along to spend time with this woman who had a big influence on my life - and still does today. I believe she is still with us now in spirit, so I want to share with you what I would share with her. There were many things I learned from my aunt, but there are 3 in particular to celebrate. Charisma. Care. Character.
Let’s start with charisma.
Ever since I was young, my aunt was this glamorous, charismatic presence. She would walk into a crowded party and eyes would turn toward her. This was the 80s. She would have perfectly styled hair and makeup, elegant jewelry, matching cordoroy striped jumper with bell bottoms that was hip and cool, cute sparkly stiletto heels, and a matching bag. All eyes would turn to her as she would flash her white smile and laugh her tinkling laugh. Someone would inevitably ask her play the piano and she would become a maestro and play a classical piece and wow us all. Auntie Net was larger than life and for a shy, awkward girl in second hand clothes, who could barely talk to adults, And most definitely hated the spotlight, I always looked up to her for how well she could move in crowds so confident and at ease. She was like the radiant beautiful Filipina sun, charismatic and confidence.
Which brings me to my second C care.
I remember when I was young and my glamorous aunt would find me - awkward painful shy me - and she would tell me at five years old. Wow - you are so special and smart and amazing. And she would tell everyone this loudly and they would all nod and I couldn’t believe they were actually talking about me. My aunt would then go into a story to show how special and smart and amazing I was. One of her favorites was about her taking me to the Philippines and how I was maybe one or two and was trying on her slippers all chubby but determined to walk in them. Ah ha, she would look at the crowd expectantly, you see how special and smart and amazing she is? I didn’t think that was particularly great, but then I would look at the crowd she was telling the story to - and then at how she looked at me, beaming, so so proud of me. And I couldn’t help to think - maybe just a little of it might be true. You see, back then I wasn’t particularly good at much. I struck out a t-ball. I mean t-ball where you can’t really strike out. I was a wimpy athlete, got average grades, and my favorite place to be was hidden behind the scenes and quiet. But somehow my aunt saw so much special in me. And no matter how big the party or how all eyes were on her, she would somehow find me and pull me up and say - wow, look at you! How amazing and special and smart you are. And then time and time of her doing this, I started to believe and started swinging at the t-ball, getting on the honor roll, and having her there to hug me when I graduated from Stanford. You see - she told me - I knew how amazing and special and smart you are! I am grateful for Her presence and love and belief in me.
And lastly her Character.
As many of you might know, my aunt faced her share of struggles. And yet, through it all, when she legitimately could have started talking badly about family or friends or how terrible a card she was dealt or how unfair it all was, never ever ever once did she do that around me. Even in the worst and hardest of times, my aunt pulled me aside and said, I hope Lenny is ok. He deserves better and I hate to see how hard this is for him. I want Lenny to be happy. And then… later, my aunt pulled me aside and there was a sparkle in her eye and a beaming smile, I have met someone very special to me. His name is Rick and he is so smart and fun and kind. He is an author and always has so many ideas. I want you to meet him. And I had the pleasure of meeting a man who has embodied love and kindness and generosity. I think Rick was a manifestation of her positivity and character
I believe Auntie Net’s spirit lives on - in her presence here, we feel her spirit of charisma and community, her spirit of love and care to see the best in each other and of ourselves, and the spirit of positivity that in our darkest and hardest of moments that we would find light and love.
I want to read these lines from Anne Brontë
‘Farewell to thee! but not farewell
To all my fondest thoughts of thee:
Within my heart they still shall dwell;
And they shall cheer and comfort me.
‘Life seems more sweet that thou didst live,
And men more true that thou wert one.
Nothing is lost that thou didst give,
Nothing destroyed that thou hast done.‘
And so Auntie Net - I know that you are still here with us. I love you and celebrate you and am so very grateful to you for all that you have given and shared with me and our family and friends. Thank you.
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